A reader writes:
Carl, when you are sufficiently silent with the "waters stilled" how do you experience revelation. I suppose a better question would be what is your experience "there" like? Does God float into view ... or does God whisper ... ?? Or do you find a path to look inwardly in order to find answers, results, etc. I guess that one overarching question here would be "Do you have a purpose or question in mind before you start out?"
I believe radically that "silence is praise" (Psalm 65:1, translated literally), and "for God my soul in silence waits" (Psalm 62:1) - so for me, any kind of purpose or question would just be more noise in the silence. I'm afraid I'm not one for anthropomorphic experiences of God, so no floating or whispering in my experience. How, then, do I hear the voice of God? I take my cue from Julian of Norwich: "For the fullness of joy is to behold God in all." I believe a daily contemplative practice can help us to discern the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives, but it may come from almost any possible source: insight from a conversation with a loved one, a song lyric, a meaningful passage in a book. As I see it, the Holy Spirit uses these mundane and random elements in our lives to speak to us. So our job is to listen - and to behold. And a daily practice of radical silence, again, with no purpose or desire other than to be still and know God, is training to help us grow in our attentiveness to the subtle movements of the Spirit in our lives.
My friend goes on to say:
Many months ago you recommended that I seek out a spiritual counselor here locally. I found several leads online and plan to finally make contact. Thanks for that direction. Perhaps the answers to my questions are so personal and individualized that I will need to address all of them with my spiritual director, when she/he and I have chosen one another.
Glad to hear this. The dance of intimacy with God is so unique and personal that no book (or blogger) can ever fully address our unique gifts, needs, hopes and challenges. Having a friend, mentor, director or companion who is herself or himself a person of prayer is so invaluable. Good for you for pursuing this.
Finally .... how about songs. You mention the breathing silence (I was taught this technique when I once dabbled in a variant of Hindu meditation/devotion in my "earlier days"). But later, when in mental and spiritual crisis I found that some of the songs I had learned in church as a youth helped me "find my way back". Can passages of music serve the same purpose as the centering prayer or the Jesus prayer?
Of course. This points to the power of Gregorian Chant (or any kind of chant) as a tool for contemplative practice. As St. Augustine says, "The person who sings, prays twice." So exult in the music that you have found meaningful. My only bit of unasked-for advice: don't let your love for music become a way to avoid silence. Try to find a balance between the silence and the song. Let both nurture your ongoing journey.
Thanks for writing, and many blessings to you (and to all who read this). If anyone else has a question regarding the contemplative life, visit www.carlmccolman.com/connect where you will find a form for sending in your comments or questions.