What’s Mine to Steward, What’s Mine to Surrender
In this Day1 interview clip from episode #4198, Rev. Dr. Barry Jones, senior pastor of Irving Bible Church, joins host Rev. Dr. Katie Givens Kime to reflect on a deceptively simple pair of questions: “What’s mine to steward, and what’s mine to surrender?” Jones names the tug many leaders feel between responsibility and release, weaving together the Serenity Prayer and an incisive line from philosopher-theologian Dallas Willard: “The human soul is not made to bear the weight of outcomes.”
The conversation offers gentle, practical wisdom for pastors, ministry leaders, and anyone navigating vocation, parenting, or community life. For further context on adaptive leadership, see leadership scholar Tod Bolsinger and spiritual formation insights from Dallas Willard. Grounded in the invitation of Psalm 139 and the way of Jesus, this clip helps us breathe, receive, and practice a non-anxious posture of trust.
Watch the Clip
Transcript
Rev. Dr. Katie Givens Kime
Is there a particular, would you say, a theological question or a faith question that you're wrestling with in this particular season of your life or your ministry?
Rev. Dr. Barry Jones
Yeah, so I think for me, there's a pair of questions that kind of were offered to me by a friend in a conversation. That have just so stuck with me. When it comes to my life and my leadership, my parenting, my marriage, I mean. And so the questions are, what's mine to steward and what's mine to surrender?
Rev. Dr. Katie Givens Kime
Ooh, what's mine to steward and what's mine to surrender—
Rev. Dr. Barry Jones
—What's mine to surrender. And those have been just huge for me. Because so, I think about the old Serenity prayer, right? God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
And that last line about the wisdom to know the difference is a really big deal, right? Because my issue, right, my issue is. Sometimes. I want to steward those things that are out of my control, that are actually mine to surrender, and I wanna surrender the things that I actually need to, right. And so what's mine to steward, what's mine to surrender?
I quote Dallas Willard in the sermon, and Willard has this incredible line that's so simple and yet so profound. And it is, "The human soul is not made to bear the weight of outcomes," right?
Rev. Dr. Katie Givens Kime
The human soul is not made to bear the weight of outcomes.
Rev. Dr. Barry Jones
That I have to steward my effort, my responsibility, my agency, and yet that only goes so far. The outcomes of my efforts are something that I have to learn to surrender to God. And so I'm a parent of young adult kids, and so what's mine to steward with my kids, and what's mine to surrender to God?
I am the pastor of this congregation and there are all kinds of responsibilities that come with that. What's mine to steward and then what's mine to surrender? And those two questions have just really made a huge difference in my ability to lead as that non-anxious leader.
Reflection
Christian leadership, and everyday discipleship, often lives at the crossroads of agency and trust. This conversation reframes that tension with a gracious rubric: steward what God entrusts to you; surrender what belongs to God alone. The Serenity Prayer teaches discernment; Dallas Willard reminds us that outcomes ultimately exceed the human soul’s capacity to carry. For pastors, teachers, and faithful listeners, this becomes a pastoral practice of non-anxious presence: show up, be faithful, and release the results.
Practical takeaways:
- Name your spheres of stewardship (family, team, sermon prep, pastoral care) and the outcomes you’re tempted to control.
- Build rhythms of surrender (breath prayers, examen, sabbath) to entrust outcomes to God.
- Lead transparently: model this discernment with staff and congregations to cultivate courageous, non-perfectionistic cultures.
- Preach and teach Psalm 139’s God who “searches” and “knows” as the foundation for trust-filled surrender.
Questions:
- Where do I sense God inviting me to steward more intentionally this week?
- What outcome am I carrying that I need to surrender?