Mitch Carnell: Temper Your Words, Open Your Heart
President Obama struck the right note when speaking about the police shooting in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
"We need to temper our words and open our hearts," he said following the mid-July killing of three officers.
Words are powerful. They have the power to build up or tear down, calm people down or stir them up.
Arthur Caliandro, the late senior pastor at Marble Collegiate Church, once asserted, "You can never know that your words will be received the way you intended because you do not know what that person has gone through."
Most people are able to hear hot political speech and let it roll off them, but a few internalize those words - and those words take over that person's thoughts and actions.
Hate speech is dangerous. You do not know the listener's state of mind.
The rhetoric in the current presidential campaign is already at a fever pitch with, I fear, much worse to come.
In today's unsettled political climate, we all need to take a step back, take a deep breath and moderate our speech and behavior.
The president has shown exemplary restraint in responding to his critics. He has the right demeanor that is needed in these times. He has pleaded for calm and civil speech.
Some see this behavior as weakness, but, in reality, such restraint demands enormous strength. Self-control and self-restraint are hallmarks of a Christian communicator.
Parents should discuss these matters with their children and explain to them the power of words.
The wounds inflicted with sticks and stones will heal, but those inflicted with words may never heal and will continue to fester.
Harsh, unkind, hateful words spoken by those who are significant in a person's life may have an impact that will scar that life forever.
There is a gigantic role for churches to play under these circumstances. They can promote small discussion groups and hold seminars. They can teach people how to conduct themselves in threatening situations.
Here is an opportunity for churches to become more relevant to modern life. Unfortunately, too many churches have elected to become part of the problem.
They use their powerful voices to arouse discontent and sow seeds of disharmony.
The Bible is filled with sound advice on how Christians are to respond to hostile or threatening behavior. People of good will can find solutions even in the face of overwhelming odds.
It is hard to listen to one another when so many of us are so far apart in our thinking, but we can do it. We must do it for the sake of our society.
We must continually ask ourselves: Do our words accurately reflect our claim to be Christian?
Christian civility must become more than a slogan. It must become the way we operate on a daily basis. As Christians, we must communicate in such a way as to reflect the teachings of Jesus.
Christian communication doesn't mean surrendering our beliefs. It does require us to treat the other with the same respect we demand for ourselves no matter how much we disagree with his or her position.
In fact, the more deeply we disagree with another's position, the more careful we need to be in fashioning our response.
There are times when the best response is to acknowledge that our disagreements are so profound that we simply agree to disagree and end the conversation.
Mitch Carnell is a consultant specializing in effective communication. He is the author of "Our Father: Discovering Family." He and his wife, Carol, are members of First Baptist Church of Charleston, South Carolina. He blogs at MitchCarnell.com and ChristianCivility.com