Top Topics


Please join us on these social networks:

Day1 Store

Books, CDs, Videos & more

Visit The Store

The Passionate Jesus

Day1 host Peter Wallace's new book on the emotions of Jesus is, according to Marcus Borg, “An illuminating and powerful personal meditation." Ideal for personal or group study.

Buy Now

The Rev. Dr. Lillian Daniel The Rev. Dr. Lillian Daniel

The Rev. Dr. Lillian Daniel is senior pastor of First Congregational UCC in Dubuque, IA. She is a speaker and author of several books including "'Spiritual But Not Religious' Is Not Enough."

Member of:

United Church of Christ

Lillian Daniel: Stop Trying to Find Yourself

September 13, 2017

"Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." - Matthew 10:39 

Individualism tells you that you are special and unique. So go find that unique quality about yourself, then live by that quality and then you will be happy. In other words, the first thing to do is "Find yourself."

Here's the problem. As soon as I discover something unique about myself, I meet someone else with the exact same issue. There might even be a support group for it. There's probably even a support group for people who are incapacitated by the devastating realization that their problems are not unique. 

What if finding yourself is just a trick to get us to find out about other people? What a rip-off. I went out to find myself and all I got was a bunch of other people. I want my time and money back. 

Jesus doesn't try to trick anyone. He is honest about how he sees it. Instead of saying "Find yourself," Jesus says "Lose yourself." 

I used to think that losing myself, while admirable and unselfish, would make me miserable. I assumed that I would lose what I want, what I seek and what I need so that someone else could have all my things instead. I put "losing myself" on my list of noble things to do in the future, once I have everything I need. 

But now that I have had some experience chasing after myself and my own uniqueness, I can see the ways in which that quest to find myself has made me miserable, as well as a few other people along the way. 

Individualism means you only have your own story. But if you let go of the quest for uniqueness, you can have a bigger story, one that includes you but is not solely about you. 

Your life has meaning because it is not the only story. Lose yourself, you may like it. 


Thank you, God, for finding me so I don't have to find myself. Amen.


From UCC's StillSpeaking devotionals

Printer print
Comment comments

Topic Tags

No current tags